From: "Alice K. Turner" 
Subject: (urth) Necronomicon (totally off-topic, but funny--apologies in advance)
Date: Tue, 16 Apr 2002 15:58:31 -0400

 There Ain't No Necronomicon!
: Copyright 1992 by Eric Hoffman and Poke Runyon

: Every few years you will see
: An ad as well-writ as can be!
: Offering for sale a book...
: Whose title is the selling hook.

: It's called the Necronomicon,
: To summon horrors from beyond...
: Or so 'twas claimed by H.P.L.,
: Writ by an Arab mad as hell!

: The author, poor Abdul Alhazred,
: Was 'et by demons in Damascus --
: And how his book survived...
: Don't ask us!

: Lovecraft's fans both far and near
: Have searched for many a fruitless year
: To find this book of evil spells
: But the truth is sad to tell...

: THERE AIN'T NO NECRONOMICON!!!

: There is a Key of Sol - o - mon
: And a Lesser Key, Lemeg - a - ton.
: There's a Grimorie of Honorius
: And other works notorious...

: Heptameron, Enchiradon, complete
: With Tetragram - ma - ton
: But there ain't no Necro - nom - ee - con,
: Of that we have no doubt!

: There's a tiny little Grand Grim-wah,
: An absolutely True Grim-wha,
: And Solomon's  Ars No-tor-ee-ah,
: But where's the "Necronom-ee-kha?"

: There's Aramadel and Arbatel
: And other catalogs of hell...
: There's Picatrix ( not pick up sticks)
: And other books of dirty tricks!

: There's manuscripts quite Faust - tee - on
: In Tablets in Enoch - ee - on...
: But there ain't no Necornomicon,
: And that's a natural fact!

: From The Seventh Ray, Book 1, "The Blue Ray"
: http://members.aol.com/CHSOTA/productions.html






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